Little Man Letters: Your Father’s Heart

Dear Enzo,

Last year on Father’s Day all I knew of you were kicks and hiccups. And all I knew of your dad as a father was that he would put his whole heart into raising you.

It has been the joy of a lifetime to watch you change and grow for the past 9 months. And in many ways, I can say the same about your dad. 

Much ado is made of a mother’s love in story and song (and retail marketing). And it’s all true. I love you with a love that’s otherwordly. But you need to know even though society doesn’t always celebrate dads the same way, he does too. 

He is fiercely protective of you. As a doctor who has seen the devastating effects of a common cold on an infant, he took every possible precaution to keep you healthy through flu season. Remaining resolute in the face of criticism and constant jokes.

If you are in need, there is no end to the lengths he will go. Such as Walmart, in the middle of the night, to get a special swaddle. We could have easily made do until morning, but “making do” absolutely will not do, when it comes to you. 

He is all about anything that will make you laugh. Even if it results in a strained neck from whipping his head around like a crazy person. And he will keep playing a game with you long after I’ve tapped out, because he can’t get enough of your smile. 

He is not a big spender. His preferred apparel is cargo shorts, a $1 solid colored t-shirt, and broken crocs as old as the hills. Yet when we go to the store, I find him drifting toward the toy aisle in search of a Catch Me Kitty (because you love your great-grandparent’s cat) or a DVD of cartoons that might hold your attention. It will be a SIGHT, I’m sure, the first time you point to something on a shelf and look at him with big pleading eyes. His wallet won’t be able to open fast enough. 

He misses you when he is at work, and is a little jealous of all the time I get to spend with you. (So it’s okay if you say Dada first. I’ve heard you repeating it in your crib. Go ahead and say it to him.) His favorite pastime on the weekend is holding you while you sleep. I have approximately 2000 photos of you napping on him. 

These are just sweet, everyday examples of your father’s affection. And while I hope I never have anything more than that to share, I am certain should you encounter sickness, setbacks or despair, his love for you will shine all the brighter.

What I’m trying to say is your dad is usually a very reserved man. He holds his hand close to his chest, “trusting no one, expecting sabotage.” Except when it comes to you. His cards are on the table, he’s ALL. IN. And he always will be.

I pray as you come to understand the depth of his heart it will guide your steps and strengthen your soul. And that no matter how far you decide to one day wander, it will always bring you back home. 

Love,
Mama

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