Enzo Alan: 2 Months

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Age: 2 months

Stats: 10 lbs, 8oz, 22.5 inches

Nicknames: Lovebug,  Munchkin, Monkeyman, Little Man, Sir

Sleep: Better. Not unicorn status (sleeping through the night), but significantly improved since we made some feeding changes. More on that later.

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Napping on Daddy

Loves:

Music
You will usually stop fussing if we turn on music and/or start singing to you. The louder the better, which is not surprising. When mama was pregnant with you, she played music very loud while getting ready and during her commute.

Carry Me Through by Dave Barnes is your favorite song. So far each time mom plays it, you get very calm, and watch her intently if she sings along. You don’t do that with other songs.

Your Daddy’s antics
Your dad is SO silly. You smile and chatter up a storm when he dances or recites made up rhymes for you.

Memorable Moments:
You started smiling at us this month. I forget the rest.
Seriously though, your smiles are the best.

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You also attended your first wedding. Mom and Dad broke their “no outings before immunizations” rule to witness Jon and Dani’s ceremony and give the blessing at their reception.

We were very nervous to take you, we weren’t sure how you would behave. We also didn’t want lots of strangers touching you. Dad did have to take you out of the ceremony, but when we put you in your carrier for the reception, you went right to sleep and stayed content until all the speeches and first dances were over – perfect timing!

We had to feed and change you in the car before driving home, and you may or may not have peed on daddy’s backseat, but we were so relieved the evening went well we didn’t even care. Well, I think dad cared about the pee a little. But at least baby pee doesn’t smell too bad. ;)

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Other:

Recovery

My incision doesn’t bother me anymore, but my skin has gone crazy with acne and my weight still hasn’t budged. So you know I’m struggling to remain calm about all THAT. I have 30 pounds left to lose and each time I see the same number on the scale and/or get on social media and see photos of other mamas who have already bounced back to their former size…I get all sorts of anxious. I was cleared to run recently, so I’m hoping between watching my calories and logging some miles, I’ll make progress in month three. I don’t know what to do about the acne. Wait it out I guess. If anyone has any masks or regimes they think might help, I’m all ears. My skin was SO. NICE. while pregnant. Such a bummer to have it looking gross now. As if I’m not self-conscious enough. Can’t wait for my hair to start falling out too! Woo!

Feeding

I am exclusively pumping breastmilk (no direct nursing), but I don’t make enough to keep up with Enzo so we supplement with formula at night. How we got to that point is a long, stressful story that I was going to share here but decided against it. I was really only wanting to write about it because I felt like I needed to explain why I’m not directly nursing, and justify my use of formula. I wanted everyone to know all the concern, effort, exhaustion and tears that went into our choices so they could tell me its okay. That we made the right decisions. But I need to get over that desire for public approval. It is what it is, not ideal, not what I hoped for, but that’s life. Others might have handled my situation differently, but I did the best I could. That should be enough.

The positive that has come out of all the struggle is Enzo is much happier and healthier. He gained weight really well the first 2 weeks, then he struggled for awhile, and now he is catching up quickly. He is a lot less fussy, and a better sleeper. He still gets me up about 4 times a night, and as of this past week he fights his naps during the day, but all of that is light years better than what we were dealing with when he was apparently hangry 24/7.

Overall, we are getting our bearings as new parents. I know a lot of people think we are over protective (silly, even) with our pre-immunization travel/visitation restrictions. Before I became a parent I would have rolled my eyes at such extreme caution too. But now we have an innocent little life dependent on us, and that changes everything. Ron has seen enough to know how serious a situation it can be when a newborn is sick. It’s much more serious than a baby that is 4+ months old. So bear with us. We won’t always be so strict.

Anyway. Now that I’m getting a little more sleep (I still don’t know how I’m managing to do life on 3-5 broken hours a night but I am! With a smile even!) and my hormones seem to have calmed down, I don’t feel so crazy. The first 8 weeks were BRU-TAL for me. I was 100% grateful to have Enzo, but man. I did not understand how on earth anyone ever had more than one child. I was barely keeping my head above water most days. But I get it now. The sweet is starting to outweigh the struggle, and I already sincerely want to have another baby, God-willing. 

Love you little nugget! It’s a privilege to be your mama. 💕

One Month
Birth Story 

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